Chuck Norris-isms

My 11 year old came across a video of the best Chuck Norris jokes. Here’s a few:

After Chuck Norris was born, he drove his Mother home from the hospital.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t cut his grass. He walks outside and dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

When Chuck Norris is in Rome, the Romans must do as he does.

Chuck Norris’ trash throws itself out.

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

The sun needs sunglasses when Chuck Norris looks at it.

Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he temporarily holds the air hostage.

Chuck Norris got rid of the periodic table. Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

After the video Harrison turned to me and asked, “Dad? Who is Chuck Norris?”